don’t believe the hype


HYPEBUSTERS Vol 1: MEN’S PANTS by caseyly16
Fail.

Fail.

Something inexplicable has happened to men’s fashion. When I walk down the street, I see “men” everywhere wearing pants suitable for 16 year old girls.

Follow us in our inaugural Hypebusters segment as we examine this phenomena and the dos and donts of men’s pants after the JUMP!

So what is going on??

Tight men’s pants originated in the 70’s, a time of sex, drugs, rock & roll, and your parents. In 1986, a study was published suggesting that wearing tight pants could lower a man’s sperm count. And in fell swoop, baggy jeans came in and those aerodynamic butt-huggers went out for good. Or so we thought.

Slender jeans have slowly crept up onto the scene, first among celebrities and rock stars desperate for attention, and now amongst your average middle-class young adults. These pants have confused many members of the younger generation, who are now in jeopardy of losing their class and dignity (and circulation) by choosing Skinny jeans. It has also confused several members of our older generation whose ideas of “hip” still reside in the 90’s (yikes).

So I want to buy a pair of skinny jeans…

STOP. DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200.
A trend is a trend. Think about this situation logically: tight jeans are probably the most uncomfortable pieces of clothing ever invented. Do you know why girls wear thongs? So that they don’t have to worry about boxers riding all up in their pant legs every time they get up out a seat or tie their shoelaces. Secondly, consider the amount of time you’ll waste with a pair of jeans that takes 10 minutes just to get on and off. And what happens when you pull upwards too hard? Ouch.

So how do I know if my pants are too tight?

Well, look up and re-read the what I’ve already told you and then consider this: If you can see any part of your male anatomy through your jeans while standing, your pants are too tight.

So what is acceptable?

Manly, Comfortable, AND Fashionable

Manly, Comfortable, AND Fashionable

Pictured: Levis 514

Stick with what has worked throughout the years, not what you see on TV. I know men’s fashion can get confusing, and that’s why I strongly urge you to KISS(KEEP IT SIMPLE, STUPID). There’s nothing better than a man who can dress cleanly, and in a subtle fashion to boot.

In addition, there’s nothing more timeless than a well-worn, comfortably-fitted pair of jeans. Imagine trying to pull up a pair of skinny jeans when you’re forty. No fuckin’ bueno.

& that concludes this episode of hypebusters.

 

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